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Thursday, April 21, 2011

The Dead Weight That is My Behind

I feel like I weigh 120 pounds more than I do today.  Every limb of my body is heavy.  Just reaching for the coffee cup takes serious concentration and a big, deep breath.  Putting on my sweat pants was a monumental achievement.  And who attached the dumb weights to my butt this morning?!



Walking Wrigley with his dog friends was exhausting, too.  One leg forward, the other leg forward, reach down to pick up his deposit, lift back up.....deep breath, tie the poop bag shut. The usual three mile power walk felt like the Boston Marathon!

Which makes perfect sense in that yesterday afternoon I decided on a whim to drive down to a med spa and get a "double shot" of Adenosine Momnophoshate/Rodex-B-6, Dexol-B-5/Depo-cobolin-B-12!  You know, the diet shot to help burn fat, increase energy and decrease hunger?! But I am a sucker when it comes to anything that will supposedly help me lose a few extra pounds right now!  So, I guess I will be happy with achieving 2 out of 3 of their stated goals.  The jury is still out..............

I think #youknowUrBoredWhen simply going through the day's tasks seems so daunting and heavy.  But being bored is actually a luxury so few people in this country, I feel embarrassed to call that my problem.  On the other hand, I do not have SO much going on to lay claim to being exhausted from achieving so much, either.  I do have a ton of work sitting at my computer desk....starring at me right now, as we speak, with intensity!  So what's new?  But, in complete honesty, I am a little bored. 


Big sigh......off to get something done and not be a drain on our society...then maybe a nap is in order.  Wish me luck!

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Monday, April 18, 2011

What To Do When the Weather is Too Hot and the Pool is Too Cold

Often times, we have no control of the pace and the intensity that life comes at us.  We are a mere feather in the wind running a course that is decided by "others".  No one is immune. 

What we can control is our reactions to the life that is put in front of us.  We can alter the direction slightly and we can choose the emotion we will show to the world when we are confronted by awkward life occurrences.



Phoenix is a funny town.  When the weather is nice enough to sit outside and maybe catch some Vitamin D...and some sun rays......the pool water's temperature is way too cold to get in and swim!  When the water hits an acceptable temperature that people, other than those residing in Maine, can enjoy.............it's blazing hot outside.  And there's really not much you can do about it.  In the summers here, we put on our suits, head outside, jump in and swim around for awhile, get out, remove the suit, wrap a towel around the body and then, head back into the house.  When the weather is perfect, you can relax for awhile and when you start to get too hot, you can spray yourself with a hose or just head back inside.

It would be nice to change the dynamics of the situation above that would make life that much better in Arizona, but you cannot.  You can buy misters, you can sit in the shade to prolong the time outside or you could pay a fortune and heat your pool for the months when it's needed.  But that's about all......

So, how are you going to share your emotions to your friends around you?  In the situation stated above, I used to complain....and complain loudly.  That is, until I noticed that no one was listening to my grouchy comments.  Then, I secretly went about complaining but people could see right through my demeanor.  Now, while I still don't like this fact about living in Arizona, sometimes I joke about it and sometimes I ignore it.  I become a sticky feather that when the wind blows at me fiercely, but I stick to the branches of a tree....in defiance.  I am learning in my old age, er, older age, that it's better to accept the things I cannot change.  Maybe later in life, I may be able to actually enjoy these things.......but I am not there yet!
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What To Do During Your Child's Surgical Operation



What's a Mother to do while her son is having surgery?  For the next three hours, I am left with my thoughts, my laptop and my cell phone close at hand, waiting for the call to hear he is done and okay and that everything is going to be fine.

Early this morning, Jonathan and I left for the hospital, saying our goodbyes to Wrigley and to Bill who was heading out the door for work.  It's a beautiful, sunny day, but we put on our jacket and sweatshirt anticipating a cold waiting room.  Going to the hospital so early allows us a great parking space near the front entrance and soon we are greeted with pleasant people directing us to the first waiting room.  The two women behind the desk speak clearly and kindly. I cannot help notice how smooth and professional the Mayo Hospital runs and make note that I bet this experience is quite different in say, England or Norway or even Canada.  The word 'privatization' is not a dirty word.  Looking around us, I see mostly older couples and several extremely overweight people, as well.  I think about how some of these folks have to come here often and their faces show the strains so visibly.  We are the lucky ones in this room and I thank the man upstairs for giving me a heathly family.

JB and I are also more fortunate and are more relaxed than most here because his Dad is a surgeon at this hospital and he is right at JB's side along the way.  His great bedside manner relaxes Jonathan's nerves.  It feels like a big, happy family as nurses come and go asking the routine questions before one goes into surgery.  They are a happy bunch who seem to all love what they do for a living.

The surgeon happens to be a guy I knew 25 years ago, back when we all lived in Rochester, Minnesota.  He tells me he remembers the big balloon arch and game set up at the Fellow's Fair I had planned, so residents could see and enjoy their children for an afternoon.  Even back then, I was always involved in either fundraisers for the Ronald McDonald's House for cancer patients or creating special events for the residents and their families.  His bedside manner is honed to perfection and puts me and JB at ease. He tells me the first hour he will fix JB's deviated spectum.  Apparently, somewhere during his active life, he broke his nose and we didn't even know it.  I suspect it occurred while he was playing basketball and I try to imagine what he must have felt like that night when it broke. Also, this area is extremely inflamed and must be scraped out and cleaned up.  The doctor didn't use the words "scraped out" but this is what I imagine is happening during this first hour.  Next, they must remove all the mucus and blockage in all four sinus cavities.  The x-ray showed almost no air passage getting through any of these areas.  This is called endoscopic sinus surgery.  (Don't quote me on those terms exactly....as a Mom you are listening carefully but I felt somewhat hazy at the same time).  This is the second surgery for the day for the surgeon but he seems refreshed and ready for another 3+ hour operation.  I think about how hard that must be to stand and operate for hours at a time. I am grateful that my son is in such dedicated and educated hands.

As I kissed and hugged JB goodbye and left the room to go and wait, small doubts and fears came rushing to the surface.  What if.......   ..................   ................. but you cannot think like that.  At times like this, you must have faith and trust.  You must be calm and collected. You can pray. I swallow the lump of fear in my throat, and head to my waiting place and speak to you.

I've managed to type away half of this waiting period.  I have other work to get done, but I sense anything I try to work on will not come out focused or even coherent!   


Perhaps a walk around the block will be my next move......
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Monday, April 4, 2011

Dogs Have Faith, Hope and Trust

There is no doubt in Wrigley's mind, that at some point each evening, I will manage to drop a piece of meat or some rice that will fall to the floor.  He waits, a bit impatiently, resting his head on the rungs of my kitchen table. He has faith in me.  I have faith in him, too, as I know whatever does fall will promptly be picked up by my drooling dog.  You could say our family has strong faith.

While he waits, he is hoping.....hoping that I have filled my plate too full; hoping that I will have one more glass of wine, and get a little sloppy and drop a nice juicy piece of steak.  Our family has strong hope, too.

Trust: I believe Wrigley trusts me, too.  For he knows that if I do not spill a single morsel of delicious people food at the dinner hour, that I always save him a couple of bites to be placed in his bowl when we are clearing our plates from the table. We have a trusting relationship.

Life and the relationships we cherish should always be this simple and wonderful, don't you think?,




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